18.0

Dude, life is weird sometimes. I was sitting outside by a fountain at St. Mary’s College today just doing some writing and looking at hot girls a decade younger and was realizing/hoping that I didn’t look ridiculously out of place. You know have somebody watching my every move with a finger on the Amber Alert or something.

Anyways I was actually journal writing about the impotency of now or whatnot and this girl (literally) probably 24 though, asks to share the little table with me since there were a shortage of tables. And to say that this girl was hot is not doing her justice. Literally. Literally folks, a 9.5 body and if not a 9 face, a conservative 8.5. I am very conservative in how I objectify so imagine what these numbers represent.

So I’m trying to continue writing which is utterly useless at this point. But I did my best and tried to ignore the hotness and just admire it from time to time, since again I have been feeling all encompassing emotional impotency these days. And she is a youngster so it feels out of place. Again, like what am I supposed to say even if I was feeling confident? “Um, so what classes are you taking?”

HIT THE ALARM!!!!

So I fruitlessly tried for a few minutes to write insightful passages which was getting me nowhere, so I was about to pack my things up, when this camera guy comes by and asks to take pictures of us for the school website or whatnot.

Naturally.

So I say, “um, sure. What the hell.” Though I don’t say the last sentence since it is a religious school. I also agree because I felt like I could be like the Dylan Mckay guy from 90210, being a decade older playing a youthful part.

‘Action’.

So he starts clicking away. He then asks the two of us…the cumulative 18.0 and the girl. Kidding. The 18.0 and myself to get closer for some more intimate shots. And they turned out well. He showed us.

He stated that he intends to use them to attract new students to the campus. And with 18.0, I guarantee new male enrollees will skyrocket.

So eventually this older gentleman left which left me alone sitting a foot apart from this girl.

And to say I felt uncomfortable and totally out of my element doesn’t begin to do it justice. 18.0’s don’t cure emotional or physical impotency. They usually intensify it. You need to be strong when faced w/ such wattage. And again I was in the midst of sorting through my weakest feelings.

Anyways, long story short. I experienced the longest 30 minutes of my life where I pretty much wanted her to go away because this wasn’t the time or place for me to even begin to congeal to try and navigate this situation. But she didn’t and kept the conversation going even though I was hardly giving it life.

But.

I got her number. I had to in that situation even if I was bringing next to nothing to the table. It appeared like she was waiting for me to do so and you know even if you feel weak, one’s actions don’t have to be. So there you go.
I’m calling her next week. And I tell you, she may get to experience the impotency in more ways than one.

I don’t care (though I totally do). Strong like bull lies underneath. Eventually he will regain the reigns. In the meantime you all can laugh or cry along with me until that point in time.

BN