BN Has An Inappropriate Crush

Man, I was hoping this little interest I had was going to go away, but low and behold it has blossomed into my first ‘crush’…in what, 22 years?  Man, I didn’t even know I was still capable of getting a crush.  Liking a girl, sure.  Being attracted to a girl, of course.  Wanting to shred the clothes off a girl and feast upon her, naturally.  Falling in love with a girl, its conceivable.  But a crush?

Well, it has caught me off guard and now since it wont just go away on its own (the crush you perverts), I am hoping by sharing it with you that I will break the spell, because ultimately it is totally inappropriate.

So here you go.  I think you all may be familiar with my ‘little’ interest.

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Yep.  That’s right.  The 4′9″ Olympic Gold Medalist, Shawn Johnson.  (First off I cannot even conceptualize 4′9″.  I imagine it’s like a traffic cone or something.) But damn it.  Look at her in this photo.  Look how wonderful she is.  My crush may possibly be argued (by me) that its not even my fault.  She gives me no choice but to love her.

And yes she’s 16.  That is where of course this crush becomes inappropriate and needs to be remedied. But it’s proving to be harder to rid that I thought.

So I am at a loss.  Hopefully these feelings will just go away.  And no you sick sons of bitches (projection), it’s just a crush.  I don’t want to physically go there.  I simply want to hold hands with her and eat ice cream.

Oh hell, will someone please do me a huge favor and build me a time machine?

Much appreciated.

BN