Come On… Your Cold’s Not All Bad

Come on people stop bitching about your cold. Yes, it is much better to be healthy and yes, being sick is a bit of a pain in the ass, but this is not the flu. The flu is a miserable experience. No one whines about having the flu because they’re too busy feeling miserable.

But this is a freaking cold. You don’t even have a temperature. You’re coughing. You’re congested. You may have a small sore throat, which can suck (but not to the levels you’re moaning about) and most, if it is even a real cold, have a good amount of phlegm.

Which leads me to my point. We all, on some level, kind of enjoy the phlegmatic (not the word, but it should be, don’t you think?) the phlegm experience. Admit it. We get some real pleasure out of hacking up the deep seated lung butter. It brings some joy in seeing what hideous monster we can bring to the surface.

And maybe we don’t all share in that. Perhaps that’s more divided along the gender line, but what we can share in is how our colds affect our voice. All gravely and almost sultry like a blues singer. We all for some stupid reason turn into little kids testing out our new throaty voices. “Luuuuukkkke Luuuuuuuuukkeee I am your faaaaatheeerrrr Lukkkkkkkkke” (Reference -Tommy Boy for those who prefer to watch ‘quality’ movies. Farley speaking into the electrical fan).

Which, if you’re being honest, is the real reason you wont shut up about your cold. And you wont shut up. I never stop hearing about it. “Ahhh…ahem (crackle crackle grunt)….God, I hate this cold!” Which I might almost believe you except for the fact that you can’t quite seem to hide the pleasure in your face.

It’s ok that it’s fun for you. There’s no shame in admitting that. I dig it too. There may be some shame however in being a complainer. No one likes a complainer. But isn’t it interesting that you all would rather be perceived as being an unpopular complainer and a down right wimp, rather than revealing that you simply like how your voice sounds. And further, that it brings you a certain amount of happiness and pleasure. These are the perks to the cold people. There’s no need to hide that. Embrace it. Enjoy it. I can even share in it with you.

Now come on. Hold your head high. Let that smile break out across your face. And tell me about the Imperial Forces, Lord Vader.

Hooo Paaaaa

BN

About this entry

You’re currently reading “ Come On… Your Cold’s Not All Bad ,” an entry on EARCLOPS

Published:
1.21.08 / 3pm
Category:
Best of Earclops, Health, Random Observations