Cris Angel

Click on the link below to watch this trick, then read what I wrote below. It will take a second to load…

Pretty amazing huh?

Yeah, not so much. First of all… “oh your too short”, to the one almost participant. What a ruse. Looks so natural. And then he happens to pick the pre-picked gal who happens, just happens by sheer coincidence to have a severe developmental disability that has left her w/out a midsection and legs. What luck.

And so the two girls pull. The girl on the left, who is in on it, of course, since she can’t freak out and drop this poor questionably exploited girl and break her further, does her controlled freak out as she drags the disabled girl to safety in mock horror, while the real participant on the right is left temporarily (hopefully) traumatized for being a part of this stupid act.

Magic. Wow.

Can be kind of cool though, but it really shouldn’t be so obvious when watching it. Come to think of it, I think I’ve seen that poor girl before while flipping past Maury or something.

Yeah…you look familiar. Legless girls on television tend to uncomfortably stick in one’s mind.

But my point isn’t to dispel tricks or to go on and on about disabled people. It’s about you…

Cris Angel. You suck. You are retarded (earmuffs disabled girl). And I’m not even referring to your magic. You dress like…what the fuck do you dress like? A Montley Crew reject?  A 13 year old trying so hard to look hip and cool?

You are literally over 40 years old. You have a child. You spell your first name without an ‘h’. What, did it disappear by magic? I hate you.

David Blaine is a nut, but that dude any day over you. He can freakin levitate.

Now, grow the fuck up, create by magic if necessary, age appropriate attire. A magicians top hat, cape, and wand will do. If this exceeds your abilities, then please, please disappear.


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