“Did Somebody Step On A Duck?”

Quack quack quack.  Welcome to L.A.

This is the thought that just made me pull my car over, post-Lalanne-post.  Clearly this type of shit looks terrible from an outsider (and I’d assume everyone), so the question has to be, Why would wealthy women choose to look like a bird or bird-like mammal like the Platypus, rather than that of an aging woman?’  Isn’t it odd? It’s one thing to do plastic surgery to defy the aging process, but why make alterations that turns one face into something else?  It’s almost like a face transplant gone awry.  Sure, an aging face is less attractive, as nature intended, however, it is still more attractive than ani-morphs.

And this is both my fear and my curiosity…

Are women getting this done not because it makes them look younger, but because it’s what their rich peers are doing?  That ain’t too profound, but I imagine it must be tied more into the status/power thing.  Thus if wealthy women turn into these ugly duck creatures as they age, then perhaps that becomes more attractive to the rest when they begin to lose their bloom. If they can’t cling to the appearance of youth, then they can cling to the visual status of the upper class/most desirable.

And what I find kind of intriguing about all of this, is if whether in time, if I stay in this absurd town long enough, if I too will find myself drifting from bewilderment/repulsion to slight attraction.  I am not above power/status being a pull.  Will I find himself in time going, “Damn, perfect body and face, but those human lips….ugh, forget about it.”

You never know.  You look at the African tribes where the women seek to extend their necks to giraffe-like levels by placing an increasing number of rings around their necks as they age.  Of course that shit has to look hot and impressive to the other women and to the male suitors.  And the male suitors while we’re at it…fucking dinner plates in their lips.  Yeah, that shit is tasty to the rest, I’m sure.  But really, how different is it, if at all?  If I went for a really long run and swim, I may find myself visiting one of those tribes, and what would happen if I stayed long enough?  What would be the effect after an extended stay and integration into that society?  Would I too be experiencing a ruffle in the pants when a woman began to chew off the higher-branched leaves?  Would I pound on my swelled chest if a tribe member strolled by with a hub cab sized disk in his mouth?  Who’s above these socialized influences?

I will see how this goes.  For now I see duck and duck looks ugly, ridiculous, and generally sad.  6-month marker I will re-assess the situation.  If I ever find myself pausing or doing a double-take then I assure you I am out of here before it’s too late.


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