Hands Free


People are morons.

As of some month, 2000-whatever it was made illegal to drive your vehicle and talk on your cell phone in California, unless you have a hands-free device.  Now what I’ve been seeing that’s so entertaining, is that instead of fully complying,  a percentage of people have moved their phones off their ears and relocated them down below their chins as if this was what was meant by ‘hands free’. 

So ridiculous.  It’s almost like a child’s response to a command. 

Akin to a scenario like this…

“Stop playing with that toy truck Michael and put it back in the box”.

Michael looks up at the parent.  He then looks around the room with tongue half out of his mouth, and sort of shakes the truck in place.


Michael presses his luck by rolling his truck towards the toy box.

“Stand up, and put it in the box.” 

Michael lets out a sigh of frustration, gets up. and puts the truck on the table next to the box.

“IN the box”.

“UGGHHH!” Michael throws the truck in the box . 

It’s the same sort of ridiculous behavior coming from these drivers, yet they are not little kids.  Half-assed, non-compliant, non-sensical actions accomplishing nothing.  Putting your phone on speaker still requires you to hold it with your….wait for it….HAND.

You know, I’d love to hear these drivers’ defense when pulled over by the police.

“But…I had it away from my ear”.

“I see, but it has to be hand’s free.”

“But…I can see better when it’s here.  See?  (Driver demonstrates the improved periphery.)

Officer nods.  “Ma’am, what’s in your hand?”

“My phone.”

“Exactly.  Here’s your ticket.”



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