Homosexuality

That’s right. Earclops not only covers the stupid and unimportant, but also topics w/ a little more ‘meat’ like this one.

Well, first things first. What got me thinking about this today was the brief encounter I just had at my local sandwich shop where I placed a carnivorous order that a dinosaur would be pleased with.

Encounter is not an accurate way to put it.

I was just there in the shop salivating over my non-vegetarian order w/ my hind legs stomping and my little T-Rex arms tapping at the glass, when…well this guy who appeared to be gay, walked in.

Now, before I go further, and before I begin to offend anyone who might be sensitive to issues around homosexuality, please suspend and cancel your mortification. I am going to a good place with all of this, so no need to begin saving up saliva to spit on your computer screen. (And if you are disappointed that I’m not taking it to a negative place, then go ahead and save up your spit. Find a mirror. And spit onto it.)

But what struck me, well it didn’t strike me, but what…well what did it do to me? I mean I’m writing this for Christ’s sake. It re-struck me I guess in the amount of people I run into these days who are gay. Or at least the numbers I run into who are obviously gay. It really is pretty astounding. At least in the Bay Area it is.

Which got me thinking…again at least….about how much this population had to suffer to whatever degree in silence due to the fact that they wanted to sleep with men instead of women. And of course this goes for women as well, but I want to focus on the guys here cause the thought of you turns to naughty thoughts and who knows where this post will end up if I go in that direction.

But it’s pretty amazing to me, to wipe the beads of perspiration off my face and return to what I was talking about, because for there to be this many people who are so clearly gay, who are out and about now….well it is something. And well its sad if you asked me that this many people have been shamed/forced into silence for so long. And of course, such an excellent trend that this changing.

And I don’t want to toot my own horn about being enlightened or anything. I have my own prejudices. I am far from perfect. And to be totally honest, I find the flamboyant to be grating and off-putting. However I’m not a huge fan of flamboyant women so that may absolve me a little bit.

But for you to understand/relate to my own biases is probably not too difficult. I was raised in the typical homophobic environment in which nearly all of us were raised. ‘Fag’ was as commonly heard as ’sweet’ or ‘awesome’ or ‘rad’ (I was an 80’s kid) on a playground or in the court in which I played with my friends. “Don’t be a fag.” “You’re such a fag”. “Faggot”.

Boom. Boom. Boom. Words.

And yes these are just words. And yes these aren’t always meant to be translated literally. Like “bitch” or “bastard”. They get thrown around, but the messages us kids got, whether taken literally or not, was that to be a ‘fag’ was the ultimate insult. Or the ultimate slight that was associated w/ being weak. ‘Pussy’ taken to a far more demeaning degree. (Which of course opens up the gateway for a discourse on sexism. Which of course can take us to the word “nigger” or it’s African American’s owning derivation of “nigga” which does not sit well with me at all….but that’s all for another day, or not at all.)

But back to the shame.

I cannot even begin to comprehend what that would be like to be born gay. (Yeah born, dumbshits. It’s quite obvious.). And I say shame because how would one not let that sinister little five-letter-word creep in when ‘fag’ is tossed around as freely as a football? That has got to fuck a kid up.

When I was working at New Alternatives in San Diego (see previous post… http://www.earclops.com/blog/msn-article-regarding-adhd-and-trauma/) there was this one kid, “Aaron” who clearly was born gay. Believe me, this kid was not choosing to be harassed by all the other kids, nor was he choosing to NOT being supported by this one male staff who openly mocked his ‘gayness’ one time to another male staff member in front of a few other kids. Yeah, swallow that mental imagery. I wish I had spoken up in that case. I regret that. I normally have a siren for a mouth when it comes to shit like this, but I was coming off of being sick from the whole SSRI thing and I was working only a couple days before grad school resumed and I knew none of the staff who had been there for years. To waltz in and rip on this dude would have been appropriate but I bit my tongue. I’m not excusing it. Just explaining why I didn’t act when I normally would have ripped that guy a new one. Still regret it. Not only shutting a dumbshit up, but not SUPPORTING that poor kid that I knew, who needed someone to look out for him. Fuck.

Anyways, to get back on track here. How do kids who grow up to discover that they are gay, not go fucking insane and self destruct within a society that verbally condemns them? It’s pretty amazing. It’s pretty sad. It’s pretty remarkable the strength that so many in this population has overcome to be ‘happy’. So maybe the ones that should be feeling shame, if shame needs to be doled out, is us ‘normal’ ones.

And while I’m at it, what the fuck is ‘normal’ and what is straight? Even the term ’straight’ irritates me. Implying that its counterpoint is crooked. Bent, skewed, not right. That’s ridiculous. It’s words again. But it’s embarrassing if you ask me.

And my final rundown here…

Who gives a shit if people are gay? In the negative sense, I mean of course. What pisses me off is that there is even a need to make a statement about it.

Like… You know John, right? Yeah, he’s gay. Really cool guy, though. The though…you know? I don’t know. It shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t be pointed out. It should just be a different variety like hair color and (I would say skin color, but it’s the same ridiculous shit that makes us humans so bizarre in our impulse to divide and defeat.)

So, that’s all I have to say about that this super fucking hot scorching day. Hope you’re all having a good one.

BN


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