My Sex Dream

 Oh, I can only disappoint with this type of headline.  I am at work listening to Gavin Degraw’s rendition of “Change Gonna Come”.  Great song.  I am a partially closeted Degraw fan.  I don’t think there’s really any shame liking his music, but somehow it seems like I should be a lot younger and the opposite sex to freely admit it.  His Charriot CD is excellent  by the way.

Anyways, I am half awake here, but I will stumble through this post here to illustrate how ridiculous I am. 

First off, sex dreams are obviously a great way to spend one’s evening, wouldn’t you say?   No physical effort.  No exertion.  It’s simply an excellent gift given from the gods of slumber.  However last night, the gods got a little bit cruel with me. 

No, they didn’t have me in some embrace with some hot latina, and when I reached down to slide off her underwear, my hand got obstructed by some bulge.  Nothing that confusing…err..disturbing.

No.  Last night, I was in a virtual hotel room with a gorgeous brunette.  Medium height.  Perfectly fit.  Perhaps a bit of Italian in her.  Anyways, we had the foreplay down.  Perfectly in synch we were.  Hands running through hair.  Garmets being torn off, almost as if set to music.  Panties…now you see ‘em…now you don’t. 

So my nuerons were firing.  I very well could have been hip thrusing my non-virtual pillow.  Who knows. 

It’s all looking good.  Fantasy girl pulls off my boxers.  I roll up her legs and go for a little side entry.  Advanced moves is how I roll when starring in my dreams.  I have a healthy ego…or so it seems.

But then fantasy girl gets responsible.  DAMN YOU, PREVIOUS POSTS!!!!

She says that we need a condom.  Son of a….

The words ’shrink wrap’ go through my head. 

I say, “sure”.  She holds out a variety of propholactys, much like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.  All are gold packaged however.  Glad the dream didn’t shift to Charlie finding the Golden Ticket.  Boners and Oompa Loompa’s should never mix.

So I pick one of the shiny gold condoms and quickly break it out…and on…if you will.  

Time is of the essense.  Quickly.  I need penetration now…or I fear the condom will live up to it’s dreaded nickname.

So…to cut to the chase.  Yeah.  Timber.  

Sexual dysfunctional dream. 

My brain is such a pain in the ass some most of the time.  Thanks a whole lot ‘gods’.  I’m sure you’re all laughing your asses of. 


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