Obama (3rd Post)

Just watched his victory speech. …Man, all I can say is that there is no going back for me. I am fully committed to this guy. Which brings me back to my original first post on Obama. -My fears about getting close to him due to a helpless fear of assassination.

Even writing that word makes me queezy. And tonight I paused a second during his speech to internally break that fear down. Was I being irrational about it? Let me see…

For one, there is a historical precedent set for assassination for a variety of different reasons. One being, that I did not previously mention, was the timely old sport of killing ‘prophets’.

Prophets innately possess an undeniable amount of aura about them that stirs, enlightens, and has people follow them as they radiate certain truths and ideals. Jesus, Martin Luther King, to name a few, were gunned down for their inherent power and movements they started that in time challenged and threatened the old establishment, whose powers to be, rigorously defended and lashed out in perverse self-preservation.

Prophets get killed, and then they get martyred. Their message is typically then carried on by the far less skilled individual who picks up their baton and does his or her best to act on their behalf. Braveheart, you know. We all saw it and loved it. Even though made by an alcoholic Jew hater. Kidding Riggs.

So there’s the prophet angle. Barak has many if not all of the attributes. But not all prophet-esque people meet their fates to a sword or bullet.

So what else is making up my fear of this? Is it totally rational? Is it all that realistic or accurate in how I see the risk?

I can’t stop my mind from reeling.

Cause I also think of the Kennedy legacy again. I had such an affection for Robert Kennedy. I think I mentioned it previously, but I had his picture on my wall (alongside Malcolm X) when I was 24 as a reminder to myself to live passionately and fight whatever fight with my ideals and passions. I only knew RFK through books, but it registered loudly within me.

And here comes Barak. To me, in many ways, RFK incarnate (and arguably exceeding him. -I get the feeling that Barak wouldn’t cheat on his wife to nail Marilyn). Accept that Obama is not past tense and not living in a book and in my imagination. He is not just an ideal or set of ideals. He is present. And is a living, breathing champion of what so moved me by the likes of Robert Kennedy (and Malcolm X for that matter). Tough, strong, fearlessly guided by principle and ideal, in a transcendent nature.

And to stick the sickening course…Robert Kennedy and Malcolm were gunned down. Both my guys…

As well as John Kennedy. And having Ted Kennedy now backing Barak, and it being dubbed by many newscasts as Obama being adopted by the Kennedy clan…well, that is a discomfort too. All Kennedy sons get eradicated (Joe Jr by plane crash in his early 20’s). All except Teddy at this point. I don’t need Obama adopted into the Kennedy/Camelot curse.

So…

Again, a gut check. How am I feeling? Are my fears real or balanced in scope?

I am thinking that they probably aren’t all that balanced. There is a risk, but I think my fears are distorting a bit to what the real threat/risk may be.

So why feel this way, to this degree?

My gut is worried, but I think my head is realizing that my nervousness is stemming more for my embracing of this guy.

Much like love…when we enter a romantic relationship, we enter that area of vulnerability (if able) and let ourselves be exposed to the possibility of our hearts potentially getting a prolonged obliteration.

There is that window in that relationship where we do go nuts, or can go nuts, because we know what is at stake. We’ve come too far to go back, and we are becoming fully invested. It is a high as well as an awareness of knowing the devastation that would occur with the tearing about and cessation of that connection.

And that is what my gut is telling me with Obama. I am fearful because I do believe in this guy. I am open now fully into believing and getting behind this modern day “prophet”. I am invested and I am embracing. And with that high also comes the awareness of the devastation that would come if he were to meet a horrific fate.

So that’s that. I think I’ve come to a better understanding of where I was coming from. But what to do w/ that awareness? What to do with being exposed in this vulnerable place of knowing that I would be devastated if I lost another one of my guys. This time it would be present. I wouldn’t be getting to know one of my guys through books with the knowledge of already knowing their sickening fate. Thus, my uneasiness… So again how do I approach it?

I saw on Larry King last night, Barak’s wife, Michelle (great name) being interviewed. Larry asked if she feared about his assassination. Ballsy question. Apparently I’m not the only one thinking about this.

Larry asked her and she replied that she can’t worry about that. That they are both aware of that possibility but will not live with that fear and will continue to follow and act out on their ideals, beliefs, and principles.

Fair enough. A simple and correct approach to the situation. Coming from the one closest to the threat and the one who has by far the most to lose.

The message: Live with courage, hope, and ideals. Thanks for the reminder and my answer Michelle.

Go Barak!

BN