Porn Addiction

Boy…

I just saw a heading regarding it on Comcast.com and that inspired me to touch on it (so to speak) here.

This is my take…porn addiction or not, it’s just way too accessible. I for one do enjoy porn from time to time, but that does not reflect the frequency in which I view it. I find my way onto it…well shit, probably on a daily basis…even if for just a quick peep…PEEK damn it! You see the influence???

The problem is, is that it’s there and there’s nothing blocking me from typing in an address.

And look at you? You looked at that filthy photo before reading this you sick son of a bitch.

And things that would block me from viewing it on, shit it’s sad, but a daily basis, would be a live-in girlfriend. I find that I hardly ever view porn if I have a woman in my bed. Well her bed. My shit gets sold or ditched immediately cause ladies have nice things and us guys reap the benefit.

But out of respect to her and simply cause I don’t have much time on my hands I don’t check it out. Not to mention I’d have a hot damsel next to me in the sack to largely fulfill that urge.

So right now I don’t…have that woman.

And as a kid, I obviously didn’t have that woman. And I also didn’t have porn. Reason numero uno was because I was scared as shit to hide porn in my house as a youngster. And that is what a kid had to do back in the day. Websites didn’t exist back then. The closest thing to computer porn was poorly animated strip poker, which shit almost did the trick, however friends were usually around so it couldn’t be ‘used’ if you get my drift.

So it had to be magazines. Playboys, Penthouse for the bold, or the Penthouse Forum stories. And acquiring one of these, even if brave enough to stow away like Anne Frank, could be difficult business.

I grew up with older kids around so usually I would get to view these treasures over their shoulders. If we (kids my age) were ever to acquire it, our supplier usually came via our creek. Literally. The creek would rise and would distribute porn to us children, like a deviant mailman of sorts. Porn that was probably ditched by a post-released guilt conscious teen a few bends in the river upstream.

But we’d find these weathered and crinkled magazines on the shore and would drag them with trembling hands and saucer shaped eyes under our bridge, or burrow into the concealing branches of a shrub or tree to see what images were still there to salivate over.
And lesbians…wow. That was a new concept. Never before seen. Never before explained. But, damn, even as a twelve year old, I was securely on board with that.
Now I never did bring a lesbian porn mag into my house, but I did at one point hide one in a bush near my house. And it remained there…well shit, I guess my dad found it or something cause it’s no longer there. Hmm. Can you imagine looking for an old photo album or what not over the years and finding that magazine in my dad’s drawer? How sad that would have been.

But this was basically my access and exposure to porn as a kid. It never really exceeded what I wrote here. It was very limited. However one time when I was a senior in high school, I actually went down to our local quik-e-mart and bought my first porn vhs tape. It was a tense moment. The Iranian clerk in no way tried to hide his disappointment in me. But I held strong. It was legal. I was 18, plus I already felt soiled for buying it, so extra dirt didn’t bother me much.

But I took it home. Viewed it. -Read between the lines-. Then I walked down to the bridge, and with a heavy conscious (I was a late bloomer) I threw it down the creek. Where it drifted a few turns I am sure and found the next generation of kids who fished it out with clammy hands. It’s how it works. The code of the creek.

So where was I? Today. Today it’s just too damn accessible and I don’t like it. Because you do still feel dirty watching it to some degree. And I don’t think it comes from any real moral judgment or anything. It’s just too much of something that sort of desensitizes the real thing. *Women we could spin this into a vibrator debate, but for the time being….

So, there you go. Will I stop checking it out? No. I am temporarily addicted. Addicted until my next lovely strolls into my life and me into her bed. She will help me kick the habit and well…I may kick her -brrrrrrrrrr– habit as well. …or at least reduce the need. I’m not threatened ;)

BN


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