Stench Open Resumes


Good evening ladies and gentlemen.  As pointed out to me by TW (AKA Jackal) it has been one quick year since we last played in the Stench Open.  It’s pretty remarkable that it has been that long, but time no longer trots along like it used to.  You blink and there goes two months. 

Anyways, the main reason that the two of us haven’t played for the past year, is because at the end of the summer, right before Baby Jackal was born, the tennis ’stadium’ that we played in was torn down.  Sure we could have relocated to other distant courts, but with a todler and a baby in tow, TW’s leash was significantly shortened.

But now that BN has upgraded himself to country club living, the tournament continues. 

So this is how things went. 

First off, where did we leave off a year ago?  Hmmm, let me see.  Ah, yes!  I was a cripple that last game.  TW suckered me into competing even though I had a dinged up left wing.  It didn’t go well for me and TW was ruthless.  He ended up winning the first set quite easily, and I was able to squeek out a half set victory before his wifey decided it was past his bedtime. 

Anyways, I didn’t think it would be a whole year before we would play again, but I made the bold prediction that I would smoke that jive turkey in straight sets.  Let’s see how it went, shall we?

Ted arrived on time, which totally threw my game.  I always expect TW to be a good 10 to 15 late for sporting events.  It’s the mind games he plays.  I inserted the key into the locked gate to reveal our playing courts.  Nice green surface.  White nets.  Lights.  No weeds.  We were in business. 

After a good three minutes of warming up, which consisted of no practice serves, we started the match.

BN was serving.  Oh wait….

BN was serving because he won the rally to decide who would start.  You know, the “Ping, pong, rallies, on”.  I always laugh when Federer does that at the Major Cups.  His accent tickels me. 

Anyways, I started off on serve and surprisingly won to take a 1-0 lead.  (We both usually lose on our first service game because we’re either hitting the shit out of it and missing badly or lightly tapping it over like we were playing against a disabled three year old.  Though ironically, we end up looking like the disabled three year old in our execution.)

So I was up 1-0.

TW takes over on his serve.  He was full of energy after spending a few weeks with houseguests.  His energy threw him off a bit.

2-0 BN

TW gets on the board.


However, that would do it for the first set.  BN “AKA” Potential Nostradamus takes it 6-1. 

Never fear.  It was only one set.  We actually switched over to the next court due to the sprinkler system going on which created a small puddle at the near end of the court.  We contemplated going to security and having someone fired, but figured we would be better than that.  Tonight at least. 

So we turned the dial on the lights and they quickly were a buzzing.  

TW starts off game one serving.  And serving he does.  He serves BN a big fat goose egg.  TW 1-0.

Now even though BN wasn’t showing the eye of the tiger tonight, TW knows BN well enough to know that he doesn’t roll over for anyone so a 1-0 start though the right way to start a match, would also most likely mean that there would be a reaciton.


You see what I mean.

TW serves.  BN dances. 

2-1 BN


Christ.  BN found his power serve.


TW cracks the net with his racket.  He’s no chump.


“That’s better”.  I didn’t hear him say it, but it was expressed.

A 4-2 would be a good time to mount a rally.  This is where one would insert the momentum killer.  Something like a 4-3, your blowing it kind of move.  But as I said, I made a prediction and I had to live up to it.


And here is where we get our first little moment of controversy.  Yes TW, you know of what I speak.  I was on Match Point, serving to my weaker service side, however I ripped a stunner right down the inside line.  From my perspective it squarely hit the paint.  I just started to walk to the net to say good game when Jackal-face said, “Uh uh.”  So the asterix was going to go up if the score was going to change favorably towards him. 

We were at duece, but my vision held strong.

Game, set, match.  6-1, 6-2.

The games were much closer than the score reveals.  I actually think we played better than when we left off.  So learn from that kids.  Be lazy and don’t work at something and you will get better. 

Anyways, that’s it for tonight.  Good game TW.  See you on the courts shortly.  Any predictions?



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