String Her Up. Better Bring Extra Rope.

Oh how nice that we get to not only plaster your face all over the news, but we also got to stand your fat ass up in a courtroom and say “GUILTY”.

Not sure if you’ve heard of this lovely, lovely woman, but she is the mother of a teenage daughter (above photo) who harassed a young troubled girl over the internet, pretending she was a teenage boy that had a crush on her, then ended the relationship in a humiliating way.  And as a nice final touch, adding that “it would be better off for everyone if you would just disappear”.

Now before we truly judge…hold on.  Let me play a little devil’s advocate here.  It is, in a way, kind of nice that this mother  was playing such an active role in her own daughter’s life.   Isn’t it?  But….  Oh fuck it.  Yeah, it doesn’t really work, does it?   Especially when the harassed girl, hangs herself.

Here is the AP Wire’s official report on the ruling:

A jury on Wednesday convicted a Missouri mother of lesser, misdemeanor crimes in the MySpace cyber-bullying case linked to a 13-year-old girl’s suicide.

The Los Angeles federal court jury on Wednesday rejected felony charges of accessing a computer without authorization to inflict emotional distress on young Megan Meier.

However, the jury found defendant Lori Drew guilty of three counts of the lesser offense of accessing a computer without authorization. Each count is punishable by up to one year in prison and a $100,000 fine.

I don’t even know what these other counts are.  “Accessing a computer without authorization”?  What is that?  I’m sure we’re all guilty of that, right?  I mean really.  Sure I’m not typing on my computer this morning like I usually do, but I assumed it was ok.  I mean the flashing WOMPER machine to my left is kind of a distraction.  And the endless prompts to play tic-tac-toe by this dumb ass computer that calls itself Joshua.   And fuck…who the hell is Professor Faulken?  I mean what, am I breaking the law too?  Whatever.

Anyways, perhaps these “laws” that she broke are similar to the VHS copyright ones that never made sense as a kid.  You know the FBI or whatever warning at the beginning of our movies that threatens to throw us and our parents in jail if we make a shitty, grainy copy.

Or how about the mattress tags.  Of course they all seem overly bogus and make no apparent sense as well.   However…  Maybe these are just well thought out creations to bust human pieces of shit on later when we can’t get them on the actual charges.  You know?  Like have the moral police round up these horrors of human beings by using all  these hidden traps, and effectively lock them up for years.

I’m cool with that.  I’m totally cool with that.  Especially since its seemingly worked out so well in this case.  I play it relatively straight and narrow so I should be fine.

And another….thing…  Hold on….

Thermonuclear what???

BN