The Fab Three?

What’s this?  A post?  Could it be?  Sorry for the long slumber here.  I think my fingers suffered a mild stroke, thus have had to wait it out while they twitched and spasmed their way back to health.

Or maybe they’re functioning and writing again not because they’re limber and fluid once more, but because they can’t help but chime in on the fucking continuing sideshow that is Lebron.

If you have a legitimate penis swinging between your legs, then you already know of Lebron’s latest nauseating and asinine self-glossing statement comparing himself, Wade, and Bosh to The Beatles.  Post game, with total and consistent jaw-dropping lack of self-awareness, he said that the three have been (moronically) referring to themselves lately as… “The Heatles*”, based on the show and fanfare they bring to every game.

(*The clear silver lining, is at least the dude wont be spinning off a rap/hip-hop record any time soon.  If he’s thrilled with himself for rhyming Heatles with Beatles, then we are all safe for the time being. )

This is a pointless exercise, but just to further break down idiocy, Lebron and the other two stooges cannot really compare themselves and their “show” to The Beatles, based on one very obvious fact.  They aren’t beloved.  Hell, they aren’t even liked.  They are nearly universally despised, arguably giving the Yankees a rest from being the most loathed professional sports team.   And further, where it should count most, they not only have lost the love and respect of the fans, they have…well Lebron…has lost a significant amount of respect from his predecessors/establishment like Jordan, Barkley (sweet name), and Magic who have expressed their condemnation publicly.

So, no, not like The Beatles, Lebron.  The ‘fans’ are not screaming and crying because they adore you.  They are screaming and crying because they can’t stand you, and further, what you represent.  Unfortunately, Wade and Ringo…I mean Bosh, are largely just caught in the crossfire.

Hell, since I’m already entertaining the ridiculousness of Lebron’s (most recent) statement, lets take a look at some simple math to see further how this analogy doesn’t add up…

How many musicians made up The Beatles?  Four, right.  The Fab Four.  Let’s work it out.  John, Paul, George, and Ringo.

And now, let’s look at…ladies and gentlemenThe Heatles! : Lebron, Wade, Bosh….and….  Well that’s three.

No bother.  Three out of four ain’t bad.  I’d assume, if Lebron and Co. were picking out their top three Beatles, they would lay claim to three most popular: John, Paul, and George.  But what about Ringo?  Who’s Ringo in this scenario?  The rest of the team?  Are they the little leftover bits and pieces that compromise the over-looked and non-plussed Ringo?

And that’s the point.  What a fucking short-sided idiot this guy is.  For a guy who only a year back seemed to represent the word teamwork, now is the epitome of anything but. What kind of statement are you making when you include only the three Dream Team names as…ladies and gentlemen…The Heatles!?  You are basically saying that the rest aren’t even part of the equation.  Or maybe they are the equivalent of the sound crew, gaffer, (fluffer?), to The Heatles show.  How insulted must these guys feel?  How insulted should these guys feel?

The Heatles?  Nah, doesn’t quite work, Lebron.   If you need a 60’s band reference, then how about The ‘Turd’les.  A seemingly much better fit.


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