The Next Great Depression?

Oh yeah, we are in some troubling times aren’t we?  Each day I wake up to check out the stock market to see how far down the numbers have dropped.  100, 200 400, 500, 700 points?  It’s all getting a bit ridiculous, isn’t it?

One of the good things that is resulting from this is the correlation between these descending numbers and Obama’s assending numbers.  That part I like.  The rest…well, I can’t really comment because I don’t know shit about economics. (For example, Keynsian Economics only makes me think of Alex Keaton cause the names are kind of similar.  Keaton Economics?  It’s sad, isn’t it.)

But really, what is going to happen if this situation gets worse and worse?  How will we ’solve’ it this time?  Will the government go all FDR and create a flood of new jobs to get people back to work if unemployment goes off the charts?  Cause how would that work this time?  All our bridges are already built.  Our parks are pretty damn put together.  Would they create jobs to needlessly destroy such things, and then create a second wave of jobs the rebuild them?  That would certainly keep people busy.

Or maybe our government would sidestep the destructive part and just create totally useless jobs like….the expansion of sign spinners.  You know what I’m talking about.  The overly humiliating jobs of having people on street corners spinning huge arrow signs pointing to Ray’s Stereo Shack.

Yeah, but instead of hiring people for Ray, we would hire people to stand and spin regular everyday street signs.  You know?  A stop sign.  A merging sign.  A deer crossing sign.  Whatever.  Can’t you see it?  A ‘Caution: Sharp Turn Ahead’ being flipped and spun around one’s back like Conan with a broadsword, while the driver grips his wheel with sweaty brow and ‘what the fuck?’ expression.

And come to think of it…who would be these drivers anyways?  Wouldn’t these people who could still afford a car, most likely be the ones who played a part in the whole stock market disaster?  Yeah, imagine the pleasure the sign spinner would take in his job to fuck with these assholes.  Yeah, I’m liking this idea more and more.

Hmmm….  I’ll get back to you.

BN