The Social Network

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My office today…  Perched with my laptop on a rock high above the coast of Santa Barbara.  Not too shabby.  On my way to the Calliente Hot Springs for my Halloween Sunday, and decided to make it a solo journey.  Anyways, I pulled over on my way up to the top to write, because a) the view here is amazing, b) I top-roped a few times here in this spot back in college so it’s nice to reminisce, and c) I started writing this post in my head, and figured I’d better get it out now as opposed to regurgitate thoughts that will be unoriginal when I sit down to recreate them later.  So here you go.  A few cents on the movie The Social Network-

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First off, if you haven’t seen it, go see it.  It’s really well done on all fronts.  But what motivated me to write here centers on one very specific part/aspect of the movie.  One…or should I say two…or should I say one…  Fuck.  Let ‘s start this one again.  In the movie there are two twin brothers (in the Zach Morris lineage) who play the parts of the real life twin brothers that sue the youngster-founder Mark Zuckenburg for allegedly ripping off their idea that Facebook was their creation.  Anyways, the actor(s?) that played this/these…fuck I’m stumbling straight into my point…

After pretty much every movie I see, I head to imdb.com to get further background information on the movie and the actors, and sometimes find little gems that I find interesting.  Anyways, in the Trivia section for this one, I discovered that the twins that played the real life twins were in fact…not identical twins.  Hmm…  Pretty wild given that they looked and sounded freaking identical.  But not too crazy, I figured.  They obviously must be brothers close in age.  We all know those families that spawn out seemingly identical DNA every few years as if a cloning device were embedded deep within.   However, in this case…not brothers.  The plot thickens.  As it turns out, the two actors that played identical twins, aren’t even related.  What?

Apparently the film makers digitally cloned the fucking face, mannerisms, and voice of one actor and embedded it on the face of the other ‘actor’. What the fuck???   Was the other guy dressed in black with green balls all over him? Seriously?  What kind of fucking problem solving is that?  Honestly, it is such a head scratcher and such a seemingly expensive and wasteful venture.  Didn’t these fuckers watch the Patty Duke show back in the day?  Their cousins, identical cousins…  No they’re not.  They’re the same freakin’ girl.

And shit man, this isn’t like Lt. Dan’s legs that really needed to be greened-out to show pre and post Vietnam.  This movie didn’t reach an unsolvable impasse and shriek, “We’re ruined!!!  What can we do???”

It’s just so weird.  And really kind of offensive I ‘d think to the sharer of monozygotic cells.  I mean, what, there aren’t any twins out there that could land these relatively small and unchallenging roles?  The role/s didn’t call for any Dead Man Walking moments.  No gut wrenching scenes.  No masterful acts of comedic timing.  It called for two relatively handsome twins…  And….  Well, shit that is about it.  These guys…excuse me…this guy looked a dime a dozen in Los Angeles.  Hell what about the twins who played in Adam Sandler’s Big Daddy.  No ridiculously orchestrated tricks in that one by the way.  Two twins playing one role.   Anyways, those guys would have fit the bill.  They must be fuming right now.  Imagine getting that call, “Sorry.  You put in an  amazing performance as Twin One and Twin Two, but we’re going with something else.”

And something else, is one dude.  One unremarkable, very ordinary dude.  Not ordinary in looks, as I said he is Zach Morris in appearance, but very ordinary in acting and performance.

Which next has me wondering about this guy.  This guy must be the biggest fucking salesman on the planet.  I mean honestly, how do you pull that shit off?  Casting call for twins, and you show up by yourself.  The balls on this guy.  Maybe he was like one of those twins that engulfs and swallows the other twin in utero.  Have you ever heard of those with the voracious appetite?  Maybe he technically qualified for the twin casting call through that route.  Regardless, what a pitch he must have thrown out:

“I know you’re looking for twins, but wait hear me out.”

Fucking incredible.  My new hero.

Anyways, the day is escaping me as I tap away here so I’m going to head up and over the mountain.  Really should have packed a lunch.  Happy Halloween.

BN


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