The Stench Open- Day 2

This post is going to take me awhile because I’m resigned to type with only one hand. That’s right, TW beat up on an injured BN and it wasn’t pretty.

I have about four “injuries” right now. Mostly all resulting from the rigamortas of my body that has been all twisted up along with all of my emotions. The mind body connection. Unfortunately the body followed the mind.

So here’s the rundown:

A screwed up left wrist - A result from falling drunk out of a chair two years ago….oh hell, I’m candid here…I wasn’t drunk, I was….well, I inhaled if that clears it up…resulting not only in a goofy smile, but poor balance. The wrist has never been the same since and certainly did not get better when I slid and fell down a creek bed a year ago, spraining both wrists. Believe or not, I wasn’t under the influence. Just a bizarre day I was having.

So there’s the wrist.

There’s also the elbow. I don’t know where this injury originated but it’s been hampering me for awhile.

Then there’s the right knee that comes and goes.

Finally, there’s the neck. Every three months I re-pinch this whore of a nerve that is still angry at me from a basketball injury from six years ago. The night that it happen, I found myself near paralyzed in bed at my girlfriend’s place, and honestly, I nearly blacked out getting out of bed. A trip to the chiropracter’s office is the only thing that saved me.

But tonight, the shoulder was the culprit. It’s been getting bad now for the past week. Day 1 of the Stench Open pretty much put the finishing touches on it which is why I wasn’t going to play tonight.

But then I got the text from TW:

“Tennis tonight?”

Fuck. Too much fun. “No”.


“See you at 8pm. …but I’m playing (Insert dramatic music riff) right handed”.

Day 2 Recap

TW looked like a rabid jackal smelling blood when BN, the injured gazelle, made his way onto the courts.

We spent a few minutes testing out my awkward right arm and found that if the ball was placed exactly where I needed to have it placed, then I could hit it pretty solidly, with spin and all. Problem was, was that TW was a jackal tonight and wanted me dead.

So for self preservation, I crossed my heart, looked upwards, and shifted my racket back to my mangled arm.

TW licked his chops.

Set One went as expected.

TW was all over the place. Laughing, skipping, howling. He really was a son of a bitch. BN wasn’t able to use his trusty power serve and had to keep his elbow tucked in to limit the torque on the shoulder, but in doing so also was hitting some stellar top spin shots down the line. Nothing that would save him for tonight, but I tell you it was revealing glimpses of true genius. If BN was to play another day, there would be trouble I tell you for whomever he faces on the other side of the net.

“I’m wearing my headband next time”, the Jackal taunts from the other side of the lacerated net. He’s already mentally preparing his whole wardrobe. You know, what would look best at the trophy ceremony.

“Me too asshole”.

You got to admire BN’s tenacity.





TW capitalizes.


BN takes one back.


BN takes another. The Jackal still confident, lets slip a little whimper because he’s been down this road too many times before. The ever difficult-to-beat BN.



Wasn’t looking good for BN


First and only set to TW.

That’s all we were playing for tonight.

Or so I thought. I knew I was setting myself back by playing, but hell, what are you going to do. TW’s wife is about to have another baby jackal so BN and TW’s tennis days are going to be less frequent. Thus, plenty of time to get more rest to heal.


Since I have a competition problem, I decided to play a half set more, just to see if my arm would actually fall off.

Fortunately it didn’t. And fortunately for me, I “won” the mini-set 3-2. Though a half set doesn’t count, it also keeps the Jackal in check in a little bit.

“Is that the best you can do?”


BN will be coming out gangbusters for Day 3 I can assure you. He will be well rested. He will have his wing in better condition. He will trounce the jackal in straight sets. That is the prediction. That is what will occur.

And yes, I will be wearing my headband.

See you on the courts Jackal.


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