Valley Girl -Movie Review


For sure.  For sure.  We are going back to 1983 to review this masterpiece. 

And masterpiece it is.  I just turned on this picture mid movie and absolutely loved everything about it.  First off, the last time I saw this was when it first came out on HBO.  And not HBO that was paid for.  This was back in the day when you would turn the dial part way between channels to illegally pick up the ‘pay’ channels.  Or press 10 and 2 together if one’s TV was that high-tech. 

How much does that not make sense today by the way.  It sounds like an 8 year old’s idea to get cable.  “How about I put this paperclip here and put a quarter next to the dial.”  Its just as illogical.  Regardless, it worked and brought us the R-rated channels.  Not to mention the scrambled porn.  How many of us are still twitching from watching endless hours of wavy porn where we sat glued to all the moans as we kept an overly alert ear out for mom, just waiting to make out a nipple.  Or better, the one second flash of a clear unscrambled picture.  Ahh, the good old days.  Pre-internet euphoria.  Dude, I actually just rememberd me and my best friend, BS taking apart several coat hangers to make some make shift antenae, touching one end to the TV, and the other outside in hopes to bring in less scrambled porn.  How frickin’ funny would that have been to have gotten busted like that.  Us all stretched out and extended on tiptoes.  Cursing one another in frustration.  “Wait”.  “No”.  “To the left”.   Then have them walk in as we reveal our beat red faces and try to outtalk the “YES YES YES”.  As a parent that has to be gold.

Now it might seem like I have a drinking problem based on how many times I write saying I am under the influence, but regardless, I am under the influence and writing this so a decoder ring may be needed to decipher this post upon reading.  Anyways, as logical as it would be for me to be an alcoholic based on how far I take things, I fortunately do not have the addict gene so no intervention will need to be held.  I assure you.

Anyways, Valley Girl starring Nicholas Cage and a bunch of other familiar faces.  Holy crap is this a great movie.  It is absolutely a perfect period piece for the 80’s.  Perfect.  And what is so nice about it is that it is so under the radar.  The Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, Weird Science…they all seem to be the go-to movies for typical 80’s films, but nah.  No way.  Valley Girl for me, is where it all was at. 

First off, a young Nick Cage.  Few were better than this guy back then.  He actually sort of reminds me an off-colored Ross Geller in this one.  Like his much cooler, edgy delinquent brother or something.  Anyways, I actually love Nick Cage as an actor.  If you recall, I met him once with mi amigo, JG.  See old post:

Where was I?

Nick Cage was great.   

I also love how this movie stands up today.  What I mean by that, is that I remember first seeing this film in ‘83 or ‘84 and remembering how ridiculous the Valley Girls sounded.  With all the “likes” and “tubulars”.  Now what is so funny, is that outside of “tubular” the dialogue is almost ‘modern’.  “Like” has become and is still so overly used that it actually sounds tame in this movie.  In fact it seems watered down.  And that in itself is totally ridiculous…or tubular.    

Dude…I am so ridiculously tired as well that I’m not even remembering what I wrote here, but I will go on….cause who the hell is grading this?  No one.  This is an exercise in exhaustion here.  I also biked 5 hours today so the combo is what is getting me here.  I kind of feel like I’m in astronaut training or something.  Sleep deprevation.  Seeing how long I can function.

Back on topic.  Another thing that I love about my movie here are the female actors.  Something so incredibly sexy about this cast.  I don’t know what it is, but I love every single one of them.  A funny thing that I noticed is that two of the female stars were the ones in Real Genius.  Including the chatty-kathy brunette that girly Mitch falls for. 


I remember actually having a pretty wicked crush on her as a little kid.  Can’t say why.  I actually re-watched that movie not too long ago and surprisingly still showed a little glow for her.  She’s a total weirdo but I’m still drawn.  Can’t figure it out. 

Anyways, speaking of hot 80’s chicks.  Another one makes an appearance in this film.  The “Point Grinder”.  You know who I’m referring to?  Probably not, but something maybe triggering a synapse or two.  How about Matt Johnson’s gorgeous gal who played Peggy Gordon in Big Wednesday?  You with me? 

Yeah, she plays the ultimate MILF in this flick.  So hot.  So frickin’ hot. 

Anyways…thats it.  I need to go to bed.  I am out of my gord. 

In summation, Valley Girl.  A brilliantly preserved movie.  Awesome acting and presence by young Cage.  And tantalizing and captivating performances by all the other female cast.  Breakfast Club, you can kiss it.  Lucas, you can stick bugs up your ass.  ET go crash your stupid spaceship into a tree.  For me its Valley Girl.  It captures it all.  For sure.

Sianora, suckers.


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