“Would You Like To Donate Towards Breast Cancer Research?”

Sorry I’m writing so much lately. Sorry is probably not the right word. How about I’ve been writing a lot of posts lately. Mostly because I’m pretty bored. As un-fun, as bored is defined and is, its kind of a good sign as to where I am at.

And where I am at is doing a whole hell of a lot better. In fact I am getting close to being ok. Man, that was a fucking ordeal wasn’t it?

Come this August will be the two year mark when my world dramatically fell apart. Two freakin years people. Long, long time. But as you may be able to understand now through all my BN Journal posts and whatnot, it was a long time coming. And appropriately timed in place and duration.

Fortunately us humans (and all living creatures) are equipped, by grace if you buy that, w/ the innate powers to heal. Modern man w/ our big lumpy brains are largely neurotic creatures which tend to complicate and block the instinctive processes to emotionally heal w/in. Thus this, that, and the other dysfunctions result due to this congestion.

But what I’ve learned/am learning is that we all can heal, to whatever degree we are allowed to recover, if we simply learn how to turn down the chatter and distraction in our heads. And re-learn how to simply be in tune w/ what our bodies are telling us. They will guide the way if we get the fuck out of the way. And that is far easier said than done, of course. But it is definitely doable….

So…

I’m bored and I want to play more. That’s where I’m at now. Which takes me to tennis this Thursday w/ TW and Santa Barbara with the largely absent 4 next week. I’m getting back out there.

So what does this all have to do w/ the title of this post? Nothing.

Well it does tie in w/ the boredom and over-posting. Which has to do w/ my food shopping tonight…

“Would you like to donate towards breast cancer research?” Asked loudly by the clerk who I’m sure is doing her best to numb out her own resentment in having to ask this intrusive question over and over.

I mean how bullshit and uncomfortable and inappropriate really is this racket they got going on? In my opinion charity should be done by all, to whatever degree, to whatever degree the person can afford. And if a person of course never wants to contribute or give back, hell then I feel that that is there own right. Their life probably sucks anyways so no need to pile on.

But if you are one of the charitable ones -like me and JH…I mean look what we give you everyday it should be a personal and private choice. Not conducted in an abrasive on the spot manner where it is barked out for all ears to hear. Which leaves the encroached upon person in this place:

“Do I want to contribute? And if so, do I do so because I want to donate right here and now or because I fear how I will look to the others in line if I politely say, ‘No thank you’.”

That’s what each of us are faced with.

To separate this small percentage…some contribute in line cause they actually want to. And in that case, congrats. You’re doing your part.

But we largely witness that embarrassed downward look when the person rightly says ‘No thank you’ as they see through this ruse while they fiddle with their purse or wallet. They do the right thing by not being bullied into giving, but they still sort of feel bad about it.

Now of course that takes us to these people…

Checker robotically delivers the line. They smile and meekly say, “Of course”. And almost let their eyes drift to see if the audience is subtly nodding their head w/ a proud smile. Giving her that needed, ‘right on girl’.

And when she of course doesn’t see that in her periphery or in her imagination, she has her goodwill canceled out cause she (or he, right? Sorry for being sexist, dolls) knows that she gave in to her insecurities and didn’t stand strong. End result. She doesn’t feel good while doing good. Thus getting robbed of one of the main perks of charity.

And Safeway (yeah, I named you. Come sue me. I ain’t got shit right now.) banks on this dynamic of course. That’s naturally why they do it. They have some affiliation w/ such charitable causes as…well breast cancer, in this case. And they, for their own P.R. I am sure, look to raise as much as they can because it benefits them back financially and otherwise to show how much good they do in ‘charitable’ causes by…well it’s a harsh word…exploiting the unassertive.

Which isn’t that terrible in the end result really. I mean they end up raising more money for cancer research. And that is fantastic. And really its good for the unassertive too in a way, since it is presenting them a weekly challenge to grow a pair, (shit sweeties, I did it again) and appropriately assert themselves where they see fit.

So there you go…

But you know, even though this system is forced down our throats it doesn’t have to be all uncomfortable or un-fun for those of us who are able to avoid the trap. And for us I’ve created a little game.

Next time you find yourself in line with all this going on, wait until you are one away from the checker. In the batters box, so to speak. Sit tight as the person at the plate types in her Club Card and awaits the dreaded question.

When she is finally asked, lift your head up and look at her. Seriously. It’s pretty fun. No , wait. Hold on. Make sure you pick out someone that looks like they will cave in. That I guess is the caveat. You don’t want to get punched in the nose by someone who has no trouble being assertive or God forbid aggressive.

But look at the timid one. Let them know the audience isn’t imagined. It’s real. Very real.

And see what happens.

Not to spoil it, but I’ll tell you what happens. They will sheepishly smile and say “of course”. And then look down, but not directly over at you. They are too rattled. Their power’s already too robbed.

Now this might seem a bit mean, but it’s not the point of the game. It’s the set-up.

The person will inevitably finishes up her business, pay, and gladly vacate home plate.

And now it’s your turn. This is what you do. Give a great smile as you type in your card. Maybe even swipe through your debit/credit card w/ a bit of gusto. If you’re feeling inclined, quietly whistle a little tune to show you’re breezy and upbeat.

And when it’s your turn. When the checker launches out with the question. Proudly raise your head. Give great eye contact. Smile. And say:

“Absolutely not”.

It’s worth a good laugh. Cause we all know what’s going on here.

BN