Writing Report Card

Well it has been a handful of months now since we decided to do Earclops.  From the get go I wasn’t even really sure what our approach would be, or rather why I would be doing it?  Who would want to read this?  What’s the point?  It took a bit of time for me to realize that I would play around with it to just give writing a whirl and see what it would be like to write to a real or  imaginary audience (and by the number of people actually reading this, it is more the latter).  Regardless, I took it on as an exercise to explore writing since I never have played around with it before outside of emails to friends.  There have been times that I had found a style or voice that cracks me up and I wanted to see if could consciously harness that and write about whatever came to mind.  This is my own assessment and findings…

Report Card Time….

One thing that I have found is that it can be very frustrating.  Not hard to write, but in writing well.  Case and point  My last twenty posts are to me ones that make me groan at how sub-par and uninspired they are.  For most I don’t even really go over them.  It comes out lackluster, it hits the page lackluster, and it is lackluster.  But that’s fine.  That is part of why this was an experiment.  I think that is how it goes with anything creative.  I went through a painting streak a few years back (yeah I know, so gay.  I need Belushi to rise from the dead and hit me with a guitar every so often),…but with that it was the same thing.  Hypercritical.  Crap.  Every so often, something resonates with me and I’m proud of what I produce.  But it was a rarity.

I do like my style of writing.   I take that back.  I like, even love at times, those ‘rarity’ moments of writing that comes out of me.  When it happens, I thoroughly enjoy it.   Actually the shit cracks me up as if I’m reading something somebody else wrote.   BUT that is rare and that’s not my voice.  It’s just my ‘best’ side.  It’s proving to be hard to capture.

And that’s what I’m finding and it’s not too insightful, and is very simple, but writing for me, or what comes out, basically just points to where I’m at.  When I feel flat and uninspired (which has been the case for a long time now) the result of what I write, to me, is flat and uninspired.  Just random drivel, lazy sentences, and tired out observations.  I read these posts and I roll my eyes.  “Who cares.”

And when I’m feeling pensive and pained (which bas been the case for a long time now due to this specific time period in my life) my writing reflects that.  To me it comes out baring and has a feel that reflects what I’m feeling.

The good shit though.  The stuff that I wanted to write all the time.  I have found it just doesn’t work that way.  I have to be in a certain mood or frame of mind for it to pour out of me.  To tap into it.  When it does then I find it entertaining (even if I’m the only one).  That’s the shit I want to bottle up.  But I’ve learned thus far, that is not how it works.  At least not for me.

I’m waiting to write a good post again.  I felt like I’ve had parts of a few where I started to find that groove but I haven’t really done it yet.

That’s where I’m at thus far…

BN

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