You Know What I Hate, Since You Started It?

I hate my old and new computer charger for my Mac. Yesterday the light went out on the charger indicating that it no longer was working. Seemed strange since it looked perfectly normal and I have never had a charger break on me. Extension cords have maintained their integrity after being used for months as jump ropes.

So I feared that it may be my computer. But before I went down that path, I went on-line and saw that other Mac users had had this same problem with their chargers.

So that was good to know, until I found out the price of a new, simple charger.

$85 after tax.

Seriously.

So I hate my old one and I hate my new one. I need Tyler Durden to blow up Apple’s headquarters so I feel a little reimbursed.

And while I’m at it.

I still hate the whole showdown w/ the democratic primaries. True to my word, I stopped watching the political shows and commentaries, and did my best to dodge the cartoon-like gestures in photos of Hillary over zealously waving to a crowd. But, I did tune in for a moment last night to watch the Pennsylvania returns come in. And with that the spin-’masters’ takes (bullshit) on the situation. Hate it. This shit should mercifully be wrapped up after North Carolina and Indiana in a few weeks.

And a final thing, since I just re-experienced it for the millionth time.

Trees, telephone poles, and sign posts with legs.

Too many times. FAR too many times, I will see a potential all encompassing hottie walk down the street. All signs point to pure eye candy. The legs. The ass. The hair. The attire. All I need is the face to be sure. All my senses are telling me I wont be disappointed. And this just isn’t a ‘need’ us guys have. It’s a frickin requirement. Purely primitive. It generates a pure physical simian response. Ooh ooh ooh us monkeys start going. All we need to see is the final piece of the visual puzzle and then we can roll around on the ground and howl and chatter with excitement. It just happens.

But far too many times, I will be driving, and this potential girl will be walking towards me, and before I can see her face to reach visual climax and following resolution (monkey roll and chatter) and refractory period (ok, the latter doesn’t exist. Us guys are tireless eye sluts), a telephone poll or tree will cloak her like secret service and will shield her face from view with such precision that it only occurs with the obstruction moving or blocking her at the precise speed to counteract my speed of driving to ensure that I never get to complete my gaze and go, “Damn!” (Human resolution).

So I fruitlessly try to solve this. I slow down, which always seems to be the wrong move. Like avoiding a squirrel or something that runs out in front of your car. If you slow down, wrong decision. If you do nothing then that happens to be the wrong decision too. And it always turns into that dysfunctional reflex of being stuck between two choices resulting in that half lurch, half acceleration.

So almost without fail it results in me missing seeing her face…completing the final piece, leaving me in a state of unresolved monkey impulse congestion. And I’m left rubber necking as I continue driving while doing my best to not run into something (a squirrel?) and the only thing I see from behind is a tree branch cloaking the back of her head. Or the secret service telephone pole has somehow apparently inched a few feet over it seems to insure I don’t get a real shot at her. And the anger directed towards that inanimate object or tree branch is very…well, it’s there.

So, I’m left with “Fuck!”, instead of “Damn”.

And in this case, ‘Fuck’, fucking sucks.

So damn, not ‘Damn!’

You know?

Or do you?

Regardless, it’s some of the shit I hate.

BN


About this entry